Scalded Balls: This tea smells like the air would if someone had shot a camel in an 8th Century spice caravan with a small artillary piece. It starts as a nice citrusy-type te and quickly becomes something like sucking on a lemon.
For a kilo of this tea I would trade one camel hoof remnant. Strictly no dippage du sac.
Vector: So explosives, dead camel, panicking spice traders and spices? Not quite that dramatic. Sweet orange/tangerine flavour with lasting sweet aftertaste.
I would trade all of the Lipton Caramel Shart in the world for a kilo of Tazo Wild Sweet Orange.
I would not put my balls in it, unless the the sweet orange taste was to be licked off by a harem of sultry young women.
Lindsey X: Imagine a garden where orange peels grow. Rows and rows of orange peels. Come harvest time, you run around barefoot - shrieking - and stamping the zesty peels into a fine mush. When you're finally exhausted from stamping, you lick your feet.
It tastes okay.
I would trade a cowboy hat full of my own urine for a kilo of wild sweet orange tea, and that's saying something, because that's enough to make a clone (wearing a cowboy hat).
I would not dip my balls in. Mind you, I did profess that I would lick my feet.
Dr. Capitalism: This tea is tasty, but crazy concentrated - my 500 ml of water was almost too flavoured. I figure that if I'd put my tea bag in a regularly-sized tea cup then I'd've ended up with some sort of orangey syrup. I would drink this tea again, but carefully.
I'd trade a carton of non-alcoholic cough syrup for a kilo of this tea.
My balls will stay out of this tea, for fear of their acquiring a shellac-like layer of citrus flavourings.
A fragment of review ascribed to The Mysterious Hipas: I don't know where Marrakesh is and I don't know where they got all of their orange. "Herbal Infusion." I'm as content driven as everyone else but this phrase was born in some sort of marketing department in some office tower... somewhere. Probably Marrakesh. The person who created this phrase was not the same person who picked the tea.
"The reincarnation of tea" who... {fragment ends]
Wednesday, February 28
Sunday, February 25
Harris Lemongrass Tea
Dr. Capitalism: This is a great tea - it's a very nice subtle mix of lemon and black tea flavours - but the best thing about it is the smell. There's a delicate quality to it that is very at odds with the usual 'lemon' scent of teas. I was going to say that it was very legitimate-smelling, but a quick glance at the ingredients revealed 'artificial lemon grass flavour', so... good job, chemists!
I would trade one horribly deformed reanimated human hand for a kilo of this tea.
My balls would love this tea - they'd take sandwiches, make a day of it.
vector: This is some good shart. It smells kind of funny in the can, but it's nice and light and pleasant while steeping. Doesn't end up too lemony. Should have used this in the middle of the review, as it cleanses the palette nicely.
I would trade some fabric softener sheets and empty TP rolls for a kilo of this tea.
The artificial flavour contraindicates the dipping of my balls.
Scalded Balls: My review has been tainted by an ongoing discussion of the use of artificial flavours within the te. Previous to the artificial flavour discussion I would have characterized this as a light black te which is full of lemon-grass delight.
I would trade Mike Harris for a kilo of this te.
I am reserving my balls for a te of higher purity and a lower Mike Harris connectivity.
I would trade one horribly deformed reanimated human hand for a kilo of this tea.
My balls would love this tea - they'd take sandwiches, make a day of it.
vector: This is some good shart. It smells kind of funny in the can, but it's nice and light and pleasant while steeping. Doesn't end up too lemony. Should have used this in the middle of the review, as it cleanses the palette nicely.
I would trade some fabric softener sheets and empty TP rolls for a kilo of this tea.
The artificial flavour contraindicates the dipping of my balls.
Scalded Balls: My review has been tainted by an ongoing discussion of the use of artificial flavours within the te. Previous to the artificial flavour discussion I would have characterized this as a light black te which is full of lemon-grass delight.
I would trade Mike Harris for a kilo of this te.
I am reserving my balls for a te of higher purity and a lower Mike Harris connectivity.
President's Choice Moroccan-Style Mint Green Tea
Dr. Capitalism: This one's a green tea with spearmint and peppermint - it's quite nice. I'm not sure why it's 'Moroccan-style', but I like it. A simple tea with a hint of complexity in the aftertaste - possibly the spear- and pepper-mints vying for my attention.
I would trade a Spock collector's plate from the Franklin Mint for a kilo of this tea.
My balls would have quite a relaxing dip in this tea. they would emerge relaxed and smooth as eggs, I'm sure.
Scalded Balls: A very fine mix of excellent Mint and Green Te. Oh, President's Choice tea Guy you have done it again.
I would trade six large boxes of superior quality mulched Scottish Clansmen for a kilo of this tea, which i regularly use for bathing my balls.
vector: The smell of this tea is most refreshing. Especially after what I just did in the bathroom. It's minty, but not too minty. There's a recipe in the box for a chilled version. I think that it will mix nicely with vodka, but that would be a story for a different blog.
A kilo of this tea is probably worth one leather bound menu that was not illicitly acquired from a local restaurant.
The mint, the warmth, the possibilities. It'd be hard for any man to keep his nuts out of this.
I would trade a Spock collector's plate from the Franklin Mint for a kilo of this tea.
My balls would have quite a relaxing dip in this tea. they would emerge relaxed and smooth as eggs, I'm sure.
Scalded Balls: A very fine mix of excellent Mint and Green Te. Oh, President's Choice tea Guy you have done it again.
I would trade six large boxes of superior quality mulched Scottish Clansmen for a kilo of this tea, which i regularly use for bathing my balls.
vector: The smell of this tea is most refreshing. Especially after what I just did in the bathroom. It's minty, but not too minty. There's a recipe in the box for a chilled version. I think that it will mix nicely with vodka, but that would be a story for a different blog.
A kilo of this tea is probably worth one leather bound menu that was not illicitly acquired from a local restaurant.
The mint, the warmth, the possibilities. It'd be hard for any man to keep his nuts out of this.
The Tea Brewery Red Hatter's Blend
Brought to you by Dr. Capitalism. He found this gem at the market in Halifax.
vector: One is titillated by the flowery aromas that emanate from the pack as soon as it's opened. The leaves are rolled and of various sizes. A bright and tasty amber liquor is produced.
I would trade my Toronto Maple Leafs hat for a kilo of this tea.
This is the sort of tea one drinks with one's grandmother, and not the sort to be used for therapeutic testicular use.
Dr Capitalism: I tend to prefer green to black teas, so this was a very pleasant surprise - I could taste the characteristic black-tea-flavour, but without the usual heinous aftertaste. The aftertaste was in fact both brief and pleasant. I was heartily chuffed.
I would trade a long evening of sunsets and jigsaw puzzles for a kilo of this tea.
I respect this tea far too much to teabag it.
Scalded Balls: With a very endearing amber colour complete with floating flowers, this te opens with a very nice visual. The smooth and suttlely flavor make for a very enjoyable te sampling experience.
I would trade 3 kilos of the as yet-uninvented Dartmouth Breakfast Tea for one Kilo of this fine blend
The great reverence that I am developing for this te dissuades any ball dippage
vector: One is titillated by the flowery aromas that emanate from the pack as soon as it's opened. The leaves are rolled and of various sizes. A bright and tasty amber liquor is produced.
I would trade my Toronto Maple Leafs hat for a kilo of this tea.
This is the sort of tea one drinks with one's grandmother, and not the sort to be used for therapeutic testicular use.
Dr Capitalism: I tend to prefer green to black teas, so this was a very pleasant surprise - I could taste the characteristic black-tea-flavour, but without the usual heinous aftertaste. The aftertaste was in fact both brief and pleasant. I was heartily chuffed.
I would trade a long evening of sunsets and jigsaw puzzles for a kilo of this tea.
I respect this tea far too much to teabag it.
Scalded Balls: With a very endearing amber colour complete with floating flowers, this te opens with a very nice visual. The smooth and suttlely flavor make for a very enjoyable te sampling experience.
I would trade 3 kilos of the as yet-uninvented Dartmouth Breakfast Tea for one Kilo of this fine blend
The great reverence that I am developing for this te dissuades any ball dippage
Lementing our Lack of Lovable Lindseys
This is our third week with no lindseys, this is a very regretable occurrence, for there is always a cup sitting dry waiting for the lindseys.
We are sad
We are sad
Lipton Caramel Twist Flavoured Black Tea
Dr Capitalism: First let me say that this tea bag smelled like a shampoo that might be used by a 14 year old girl - and that that girl might have eventually gone bald. I don't know what Lipton put in this shart to achieve this effect, but it didn't taste too spectacular either. Basically, it tasted like really bad candy dissolved in water and then diluted to near-tastelessness. And the bad-shampoo aftertaste has lingered for about 20 minutes.
For a kilo of this tea I would trade a savage beating.
My balls weep at the thought of being submerged in this swill.
vector: This smells like an ashtray that hasn't been emptied in a week that has just been covered in a large quantity of butter. I'm very glad that this is over with.
I would trade one dyspeptic senior citizen for a kilo of this tea.
My balls would sooner see the Halifax harbour than take a dunk in this slop.
Scalded Balls: This is a vile concoction truly appropriate to my diminished view of the Lipton Corporation. It holds with my generally-held belief that all the greatest abortions of human culture are corporate abortions. The actual flavor is reminiscent of a sweaty armpit. The initial trauma of placing the liquid in your mouth is the worst part: your taste buds have a perverse AC hum after the initial shock which doesn't really let the flavor die away.
I would trade the large pail of condensed vomit that could be created by consuming a kilo of this corporate abortion tea for that same kilo.
If you can't figure out my position on ball dipping here then you should be reading this site more.
For a kilo of this tea I would trade a savage beating.
My balls weep at the thought of being submerged in this swill.
vector: This smells like an ashtray that hasn't been emptied in a week that has just been covered in a large quantity of butter. I'm very glad that this is over with.
I would trade one dyspeptic senior citizen for a kilo of this tea.
My balls would sooner see the Halifax harbour than take a dunk in this slop.
Scalded Balls: This is a vile concoction truly appropriate to my diminished view of the Lipton Corporation. It holds with my generally-held belief that all the greatest abortions of human culture are corporate abortions. The actual flavor is reminiscent of a sweaty armpit. The initial trauma of placing the liquid in your mouth is the worst part: your taste buds have a perverse AC hum after the initial shock which doesn't really let the flavor die away.
I would trade the large pail of condensed vomit that could be created by consuming a kilo of this corporate abortion tea for that same kilo.
If you can't figure out my position on ball dipping here then you should be reading this site more.
Saturday, February 24
Take it Heinz!
Your 57 varieties have been put to shame by our 69. After the arrival of our order from Stash, and a succesful shopping voyage today we managed to get the coveted 69 (kinds of tea that is). We also found a sweet tea pot at Stokes for 5 bucks. No complaints about that. Since we didn't really have appropriate space or protection for our teas, we built a shelf and hired some help:
See you tommorow!
See you tommorow!
Sunday, February 18
Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime
Yawn! A soothing chamomile blend.
Dr. Capitalism: Sleepytime tea isn't bad, but it's not as pleasant-tasting as I'd like. It tastes kind of like I imagine that the 'Medicinal Herb' from a fantasy RPG would. My HP are on the rise!
I would trade one Vorpal Blade, +3 vs Ogre Mages for a kilo of this tea.
My balls would take a quick dip in this tea just before bedtime.
The Anatomically Disadvantaged Reviewer: I would craft some clever description of this brew, but I'm oh... so... sleepy ....
I would trade 1 night's worth of cuddle with the adorable nightcap-wearing bear on the front of this box for 1 kilo of guaranteed good sleep. I hear he's a good spooner.
Perhaps I would dip my would-be-balls in this tea, in hopes that they would retain sufficient heat to serve as a hot water bottle-like warming to further facilitate my exceptional sleep.
Scalded Balls: Very smooth with a hint of mint, truely delightful when you are winding down after a long night of te tasting.
I would trade 2 moderate quality roomies for one kilo of this te.
I would bask my balls in this te simply due to its great relaxing properties.
vector: Minty, fruity and naturally caffeine free.
I would trade 2 all-nighters for a kilo of this stuff.
I am afraid to dip my balls in it, as I believe there's a chance I would fall asleep in this position.
Dr. Capitalism: Sleepytime tea isn't bad, but it's not as pleasant-tasting as I'd like. It tastes kind of like I imagine that the 'Medicinal Herb' from a fantasy RPG would. My HP are on the rise!
I would trade one Vorpal Blade, +3 vs Ogre Mages for a kilo of this tea.
My balls would take a quick dip in this tea just before bedtime.
The Anatomically Disadvantaged Reviewer: I would craft some clever description of this brew, but I'm oh... so... sleepy ....
I would trade 1 night's worth of cuddle with the adorable nightcap-wearing bear on the front of this box for 1 kilo of guaranteed good sleep. I hear he's a good spooner.
Perhaps I would dip my would-be-balls in this tea, in hopes that they would retain sufficient heat to serve as a hot water bottle-like warming to further facilitate my exceptional sleep.
Scalded Balls: Very smooth with a hint of mint, truely delightful when you are winding down after a long night of te tasting.
I would trade 2 moderate quality roomies for one kilo of this te.
I would bask my balls in this te simply due to its great relaxing properties.
vector: Minty, fruity and naturally caffeine free.
I would trade 2 all-nighters for a kilo of this stuff.
I am afraid to dip my balls in it, as I believe there's a chance I would fall asleep in this position.
Just Us Earl Grey
Organic and Fair Trade Certified. A tea your conscience you can live with!
Dr. Capitalism: This was an undistinguished tea. It skulked in my mouth like a disgraced dog, tea-tail between its tea-legs. Blarg, I say. Blarg.
I would trade a sack of pre-owned nails for a kilo of this tea.
My balls remain dry.
vector: The Dr.'s comments should probably be disregarded. He used about a tablespoon of dry leaves in his cup. Douche salade. The leaves are small, flat and chopped. They produce a nice, light amber liquor. Tasty citrus isn't pwnt by too strong black tea.
I would trade 4 fully functional phaser rifles for a kilo of this tea.
Furthermore, I would dip my balls in this tea. Particularly if I was french, but spoke with a British accent.
The Anatomically Disadvantaged Reviewer: I took a serious amount of flak for having put milk in this particular cup of tea. I'm hurt. And I feel that any comments I were to make about its colour or aroma would therefore be disregarded. Consider this preemptive self-censorship.
I would trade a metric tonne of cold cups of Lady Grey tea for one kilo's worth of possibilities of warm Earl.
I would consider would-be-ball dippage, because my clever addition of milk would help to buffer the offensive oils that might be secreted from the aforementioned would-be-balls. Mwaha! So clever!
Scalded Balls: The creme de la creme of earl grey tea
I would trade a large piece of ecologite facies garnet peridotite with sigma fabrics for a kg of this te
I am afraid there is no ball dippage here either though i would allow the boys to bask in the warm vapors above the cup
Dr. Capitalism: This was an undistinguished tea. It skulked in my mouth like a disgraced dog, tea-tail between its tea-legs. Blarg, I say. Blarg.
I would trade a sack of pre-owned nails for a kilo of this tea.
My balls remain dry.
vector: The Dr.'s comments should probably be disregarded. He used about a tablespoon of dry leaves in his cup. Douche salade. The leaves are small, flat and chopped. They produce a nice, light amber liquor. Tasty citrus isn't pwnt by too strong black tea.
I would trade 4 fully functional phaser rifles for a kilo of this tea.
Furthermore, I would dip my balls in this tea. Particularly if I was french, but spoke with a British accent.
The Anatomically Disadvantaged Reviewer: I took a serious amount of flak for having put milk in this particular cup of tea. I'm hurt. And I feel that any comments I were to make about its colour or aroma would therefore be disregarded. Consider this preemptive self-censorship.
I would trade a metric tonne of cold cups of Lady Grey tea for one kilo's worth of possibilities of warm Earl.
I would consider would-be-ball dippage, because my clever addition of milk would help to buffer the offensive oils that might be secreted from the aforementioned would-be-balls. Mwaha! So clever!
Scalded Balls: The creme de la creme of earl grey tea
I would trade a large piece of ecologite facies garnet peridotite with sigma fabrics for a kg of this te
I am afraid there is no ball dippage here either though i would allow the boys to bask in the warm vapors above the cup
Twinings The Lady Grey Tea
vector: A bagged tea. Citrus aromas, and a nice amber liquor. Short, sweet, lemon aftertaste.
I would trade 10 kilos of Natural Tea Good Hair-Look Herbal Tea for 1 kilo of this tea.
My balls are going in. But only because it has 'Lady' in the name.
Scalded Balls: Not to shabby, very similar to earl grey but not as strong.
I would trade 4 frogs that had been run over by cars and a cat mauled snake for a kg of Lady Grey
There would be no ball dipping for the lady.
The Anatomically Disadvantaged Reviewer: Arguably more ladylike than Earl, but markedly more pungent than I'd have anticipated.
For a kilogram of this brew, I would exchange five days worth of my reputation of being "ladylike." (But wait - do I have five amassed yet?)
Given that my particular cup's worth of this tea cooled to such a degree that it became gustatorily unpleasant, I would consider a dippage of my would-be-balls in hopes of rewarming the tea.
Dr. Capitalism: This was a nice smooth tea - it was pretty delicious. Ladylike. Demure.
For a kilo of this tea I would trade three lessons in poise and deportment and a stolen kiss from the dancing-master.
I sure would dip my balls in this tea. And giggle.
I would trade 10 kilos of Natural Tea Good Hair-Look Herbal Tea for 1 kilo of this tea.
My balls are going in. But only because it has 'Lady' in the name.
Scalded Balls: Not to shabby, very similar to earl grey but not as strong.
I would trade 4 frogs that had been run over by cars and a cat mauled snake for a kg of Lady Grey
There would be no ball dipping for the lady.
The Anatomically Disadvantaged Reviewer: Arguably more ladylike than Earl, but markedly more pungent than I'd have anticipated.
For a kilogram of this brew, I would exchange five days worth of my reputation of being "ladylike." (But wait - do I have five amassed yet?)
Given that my particular cup's worth of this tea cooled to such a degree that it became gustatorily unpleasant, I would consider a dippage of my would-be-balls in hopes of rewarming the tea.
Dr. Capitalism: This was a nice smooth tea - it was pretty delicious. Ladylike. Demure.
For a kilo of this tea I would trade three lessons in poise and deportment and a stolen kiss from the dancing-master.
I sure would dip my balls in this tea. And giggle.
Vector's Chai latte
the recipe for this can be found at
http://pages.ripco.net/~c4ha2na9/tea/faq.html#4.7.
pretty easy to make as vector accomplished this with little assistance
Scalded Balls: A very smooth concoction in both texture and flavor, very nice bouquet, personnelly not a big latte fan.
For one kg of this tea i would trade one large bag of lawn clippings.
This, although a fine drink, is not worthy of ball dipping, mostly because it just not a ball dipping type drink.
Dr. Capitalism: Very nice - it was milky and sweet and pleasantly if mildly spiced.
For a kilo of Vector's concoction I would trade a cd featuring 600 accountants humming the theme songs to 70s-era television dramas. And a plum.
My balls would be tempted by this tea, but would refrain. I feel that milk would be unpleasant to remove from the human sac if allowed to dry.
The Anatomically Disadvantaged Reviewer: A symphony for the senses!
For a kilo of this sweet, sweet deliciousness, I would gladly hand over 27 B-grade Bollywood movies in beta format.
If I had balls, I wouldn't pollute this delightful concoction with them. However, worthy of note: were I to inadvertently injure my would-be-balls with a spicy, capsaicin-based product (e.g. hot sauce), the milk proteins in this lovely tea would offer the would-be-balls exceptional relief.
vector: My first Chai Time. Roughly followed a recipe from rec.food.drink.tea.
The honey I used has a strong wild flowery tastes and that's mainly what dominated the palette. It smelled awesome in the kitchen while it was being made. In the future, I would allow more time for the spices to infuse.
I would trade fisticuffs for a kilo, but would not dip my balls in this particular rendition.
http://pages.ripco.net/~c4ha2na9/tea/faq.html#4.7.
pretty easy to make as vector accomplished this with little assistance
Scalded Balls: A very smooth concoction in both texture and flavor, very nice bouquet, personnelly not a big latte fan.
For one kg of this tea i would trade one large bag of lawn clippings.
This, although a fine drink, is not worthy of ball dipping, mostly because it just not a ball dipping type drink.
Dr. Capitalism: Very nice - it was milky and sweet and pleasantly if mildly spiced.
For a kilo of Vector's concoction I would trade a cd featuring 600 accountants humming the theme songs to 70s-era television dramas. And a plum.
My balls would be tempted by this tea, but would refrain. I feel that milk would be unpleasant to remove from the human sac if allowed to dry.
The Anatomically Disadvantaged Reviewer: A symphony for the senses!
For a kilo of this sweet, sweet deliciousness, I would gladly hand over 27 B-grade Bollywood movies in beta format.
If I had balls, I wouldn't pollute this delightful concoction with them. However, worthy of note: were I to inadvertently injure my would-be-balls with a spicy, capsaicin-based product (e.g. hot sauce), the milk proteins in this lovely tea would offer the would-be-balls exceptional relief.
vector: My first Chai Time. Roughly followed a recipe from rec.food.drink.tea.
The honey I used has a strong wild flowery tastes and that's mainly what dominated the palette. It smelled awesome in the kitchen while it was being made. In the future, I would allow more time for the spices to infuse.
I would trade fisticuffs for a kilo, but would not dip my balls in this particular rendition.
Te, Cha, Chai, Shai, Tay, Tisane but never Tea
In our never ending efforts to be ever more pretentious and greater Te snobs the word Tea is here by band from this blog and Te, Cha, Chai, Shai, Tisane along with various other terms will replace it.
Other efforts to in progress that are pretentious and snobby
Making our own tea blends
Dressing with white gloves while entertaing ill deserving friends
Pre-heating our cups prior to serving Te
Listing our Te in a leather bound menu
Pretending we are a te house
Inflicting our brodening knowledge of te on friends and stranger merciously
We feel we should be pretentious about our te mostly becouse it is not possible in any other aspects of our lives
Other efforts to in progress that are pretentious and snobby
Making our own tea blends
Dressing with white gloves while entertaing ill deserving friends
Pre-heating our cups prior to serving Te
Listing our Te in a leather bound menu
Pretending we are a te house
Inflicting our brodening knowledge of te on friends and stranger merciously
We feel we should be pretentious about our te mostly becouse it is not possible in any other aspects of our lives
Saturday, February 17
Terrific Tea Taste Testing Tommorow!
Sadists rejoice! For, tommorow you may once again enjoy the prospects of someone immersing their testicles in boiling hot tea for your enjoyment! The list of teas to be tested is not yet finalised. However, after consulting the crystal ball, I see some chai in Casey's future! The kettle goes on at 7 sharp.
I increased our collection by another 6 kinds today, and as soon as my delivery of Stash Teas arrive, I'll post another complete list. I'll also post a picture of it, which is becoming and impressive sight in the kitchen.
So, until tommorow, stay out of hot water!
I increased our collection by another 6 kinds today, and as soon as my delivery of Stash Teas arrive, I'll post another complete list. I'll also post a picture of it, which is becoming and impressive sight in the kitchen.
So, until tommorow, stay out of hot water!
Wednesday, February 14
New Tea Today All Organic and Fair Trade
Went to the Just Us fair trade store and cafe today and aquired 4 more Teas
Just Us Ceylon Tea
Just Us Rooibos Tea (Caffeine Free, Herbal)
Just Us Green Tea
Just Us Earl Grey Tea
All of these are loose teas Casey
Cheers
Just Us Ceylon Tea
Just Us Rooibos Tea (Caffeine Free, Herbal)
Just Us Green Tea
Just Us Earl Grey Tea
All of these are loose teas Casey
Cheers
Monday, February 12
Lipton Sri Lankan Gold
The box says " Delicate blend of Asian black teas with a medley of honey, vanilla and bergamot flavors." (Bergamot is in Earl Grey too.)
Firstly Never trust anyone who says: medley; Secondly never trust anyone who makes crappy soup, Soup like Tea is a religious experience.
Dr Capitalism: Very tasty, and the bags are shaped like pyramids, so it puts me in mind of... I don't know... delicious papyrus or something.
For one kilo of this tea I would trade one animate mummy and three inanimate ones, suitable for firewood.
My balls would be in this tea so fast that it'd splash.
Scalded Balls: A superior cup of of black tea, an excellent medley of flavours delivering a thoroughly satisfying tea experience. I am not a huge fan of black teas but i refrained from spiting this one back into the cup (or anywhere) when i was laughing.
For a Kilo of this tea I would trade 2 indomitable Gauls, one with Dog.
I would allow this tea to lap warmly at the underside of my balls.
Vector: A bright and citrus flavoured blend. Very orangey nose. Lightly flavoured with a taste that matures nicely when the bag is left in. Plainly, this tea rocks.
I would trade 3 good Phoenecian slaves for a kilo of this tea and your daughter's hand in marriage.
Without question, I would send my boys for a swim in a cup of this.
Firstly Never trust anyone who says: medley; Secondly never trust anyone who makes crappy soup, Soup like Tea is a religious experience.
Dr Capitalism: Very tasty, and the bags are shaped like pyramids, so it puts me in mind of... I don't know... delicious papyrus or something.
For one kilo of this tea I would trade one animate mummy and three inanimate ones, suitable for firewood.
My balls would be in this tea so fast that it'd splash.
Scalded Balls: A superior cup of of black tea, an excellent medley of flavours delivering a thoroughly satisfying tea experience. I am not a huge fan of black teas but i refrained from spiting this one back into the cup (or anywhere) when i was laughing.
For a Kilo of this tea I would trade 2 indomitable Gauls, one with Dog.
I would allow this tea to lap warmly at the underside of my balls.
Vector: A bright and citrus flavoured blend. Very orangey nose. Lightly flavoured with a taste that matures nicely when the bag is left in. Plainly, this tea rocks.
I would trade 3 good Phoenecian slaves for a kilo of this tea and your daughter's hand in marriage.
Without question, I would send my boys for a swim in a cup of this.
Th th that's all folks!
Many thanks to Dr. Capitalism both for his highly valuable input, and for some treasures he and his roommate have brought/sent us:
Mebmer Rosehip and Hisbiscus Flowers Tea
Murchie's Craigflower Schoolhouse Heritage Tea
Murchie's Royal Roads University Hatley Castle Blend Tea
Murchie's O'Reilly Family Blend Tea
Murchie's Empress Afternoon Blend Tea
We can't wait to try these out, and if necessary dip our balls in them. Until next time, keep on tea bagging!
Mebmer Rosehip and Hisbiscus Flowers Tea
Murchie's Craigflower Schoolhouse Heritage Tea
Murchie's Royal Roads University Hatley Castle Blend Tea
Murchie's O'Reilly Family Blend Tea
Murchie's Empress Afternoon Blend Tea
We can't wait to try these out, and if necessary dip our balls in them. Until next time, keep on tea bagging!
Sea Dyke Brand Fujian Oolong Tea
The Sea Dyke brand name was the major attractors because, well, SEA DYKE is just great, and it had a bright yellow box. (We are a simple folk)
Vector: This is a pleasant blend of black and green tea flavours, mostly leaning toward the green side of the house. It is a bright, rich colour that is also very pleasing.
I would trade an equal weight of rusty nails for quantities of this tea.
Although a very nice brew, I would not dip my balls in it.
Dr Capitalism: The tea bag floated around on top for a very long time, which was faintly disturbing. Aside from this, a lovely tea, like unto green tea with a vaguely fruity undertone. It was a bit bitter toward the end, but wah, wah who cares.
I would trade a medium-rare mule flank steak with a side order of fried mushrooms for a kilo of this tea. Plus one sea dyke.
I would float my balls around in this tea.
Scalded Balls: The first bit was strickedly to flush the sleepy cat from my mouth and may have placed a hairball square in the middle of my first impression. Overall a very nice blend moderate body with no strong after taste. The type of mild non-craziness one might feed the Queen if she arrived spontaneously upon ones doorstep for High Tea
One Kilo of Sea Dyke Brand Oolong would certainly be worth a few of the local sea dykes to me how ever this is a navy town and the sea dykes are of only moderate quality and well used.
I would not bless this tea with my ball though i would willing rest a full mug comfortably upon my loins
Vector: This is a pleasant blend of black and green tea flavours, mostly leaning toward the green side of the house. It is a bright, rich colour that is also very pleasing.
I would trade an equal weight of rusty nails for quantities of this tea.
Although a very nice brew, I would not dip my balls in it.
Dr Capitalism: The tea bag floated around on top for a very long time, which was faintly disturbing. Aside from this, a lovely tea, like unto green tea with a vaguely fruity undertone. It was a bit bitter toward the end, but wah, wah who cares.
I would trade a medium-rare mule flank steak with a side order of fried mushrooms for a kilo of this tea. Plus one sea dyke.
I would float my balls around in this tea.
Scalded Balls: The first bit was strickedly to flush the sleepy cat from my mouth and may have placed a hairball square in the middle of my first impression. Overall a very nice blend moderate body with no strong after taste. The type of mild non-craziness one might feed the Queen if she arrived spontaneously upon ones doorstep for High Tea
One Kilo of Sea Dyke Brand Oolong would certainly be worth a few of the local sea dykes to me how ever this is a navy town and the sea dykes are of only moderate quality and well used.
I would not bless this tea with my ball though i would willing rest a full mug comfortably upon my loins
The First Tea Review!
The first victim - Good Hair-Look Herbal Tea, which was purchased on the strength of the mad scientist cartoon on the front. It claims to help promote healthy hair growth, but warns that 'This product is not intended to replace your practitioner. It is intended for general well being and does not involve the diagnosing, prognosticating, or proscribing of medicine for any disease.' Here are our thoughts:
This Week's Special Guest Tea-Guzzler: Dr. Capitalism, who is a giant nerd and kitten enthusiast, who has crossed at least one body of water to be here tonight.
Dr Capitalism: This tea was weak, man. Literally. It tasted like they had already made several cups of tea with the bag, then carefully repackaged it and sold it to us. I'm pretty sure that the untranslated Chinese on the side of the box indicates this. And says "Fuck you, balding White Devils." As soon as this tea was cool enough to do so I poured the whole thing down my throat at once, just to get it over with. And my follicles don't feel any healthier.
For a kilo of this junk I'd trade some bad Mennonite pornography, where everyone's crying and praying the whole time.
If my balls were red and chapped from overuse I might hold them over a mug of Good Hair-Look so that the steam could soothe them. But never would they submerge.
Scalded Balls: Aaaaaccccckkk it tastes like a cat slept in my mouth, you cat people know what I'm talking about, also a kind-of mildly dirty sock for the aftertaste. The mildly dirty sock that is produced by a slow day at work if you're the type of person who doesn't have very stinky feet.
For a Kilo of this steaming cup of Cat Slept mouth i would trade the script of a dialogue about thinking to go find a monkey to possibly kill and disembowel to trade for a better Tea.
The only way my balls are ever going to get near this Tea is if I am in a preticularly sadistic mood, even for me, and upon serving this cat slept rubbish to a friend or foe, it is spilled on my groin.
Vector: This is "shart." Its flavour is what I imagine cement powder and pubic hair would taste like if mixed together.
I would trade one dead and disemboweled rhesus monkey for a kilo of this tea.
I would only tea bag this tea bag if I was going to serve it to someone to whom I was distinctly unenamoured.
This Week's Special Guest Tea-Guzzler: Dr. Capitalism, who is a giant nerd and kitten enthusiast, who has crossed at least one body of water to be here tonight.
Dr Capitalism: This tea was weak, man. Literally. It tasted like they had already made several cups of tea with the bag, then carefully repackaged it and sold it to us. I'm pretty sure that the untranslated Chinese on the side of the box indicates this. And says "Fuck you, balding White Devils." As soon as this tea was cool enough to do so I poured the whole thing down my throat at once, just to get it over with. And my follicles don't feel any healthier.
For a kilo of this junk I'd trade some bad Mennonite pornography, where everyone's crying and praying the whole time.
If my balls were red and chapped from overuse I might hold them over a mug of Good Hair-Look so that the steam could soothe them. But never would they submerge.
Scalded Balls: Aaaaaccccckkk it tastes like a cat slept in my mouth, you cat people know what I'm talking about, also a kind-of mildly dirty sock for the aftertaste. The mildly dirty sock that is produced by a slow day at work if you're the type of person who doesn't have very stinky feet.
For a Kilo of this steaming cup of Cat Slept mouth i would trade the script of a dialogue about thinking to go find a monkey to possibly kill and disembowel to trade for a better Tea.
The only way my balls are ever going to get near this Tea is if I am in a preticularly sadistic mood, even for me, and upon serving this cat slept rubbish to a friend or foe, it is spilled on my groin.
Vector: This is "shart." Its flavour is what I imagine cement powder and pubic hair would taste like if mixed together.
I would trade one dead and disemboweled rhesus monkey for a kilo of this tea.
I would only tea bag this tea bag if I was going to serve it to someone to whom I was distinctly unenamoured.
Stash Tea Catalogue
Have just found the Stash Tea Catalogue online. Have placed an order for some:
Organic Breakfast Blend
Organic Cascade Mint Herbal
Organic Chai
Organic Chamomile Herbal
Organic Earl Grey
Organic Green
Organic Honeybush Herbal
Organic Lemon Ginger Green
Organic White with Mint
Exotica Champagne Oolong
Exotica Reserve Blend
Chanakara Blue Ginger Tea
Chai White
Can't wait for it to get here! In fact, am wishing I had sprung for next day delivery!
Organic Breakfast Blend
Organic Cascade Mint Herbal
Organic Chai
Organic Chamomile Herbal
Organic Earl Grey
Organic Green
Organic Honeybush Herbal
Organic Lemon Ginger Green
Organic White with Mint
Exotica Champagne Oolong
Exotica Reserve Blend
Chanakara Blue Ginger Tea
Chai White
Can't wait for it to get here! In fact, am wishing I had sprung for next day delivery!
The Initial Collection
In the beginning there was:
PC Mint Refresher;
PC Vanilla Camomile;
PC Rooibos Citrus Spice;
Guayakí Chai Spice Maté;
Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime;
Stash Premium Licorice Spice;
Tetley Camomile Lemon;
Yogi Tea Classic India Spice;
PC Ginger Peach Herbal Tea;
PC Rooibos Vanilla Herbal Tea;
Lipton Sri Lankan Gold;
Lipton Spiced Chai;
Tetley Orange Pekoe;
Twinings Prince of Whales Tea;
Twinings Irish Breakfast Tea;
PC Organics Single Estate Green Tea;
PC Organics Earl Grey Green Tea;
Tetley Earl Grey Green Tea;
Uncle Lee's Premium Green Tea;
Four O'Clock Fair Trade White Tea Chai;
and, last and probably least, a gem(?) found at our local asian food store:
Natural Tea Good Hair-Look Herbal Tea.
We'll be bringing you the taste tests as soon as we can, so check back often! Also, if you've a brew you think we should dip our balls in let us know and we will check it out!
Cheers,
The Tea-Bloggers.
PC Mint Refresher;
PC Vanilla Camomile;
PC Rooibos Citrus Spice;
Guayakí Chai Spice Maté;
Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime;
Stash Premium Licorice Spice;
Tetley Camomile Lemon;
Yogi Tea Classic India Spice;
PC Ginger Peach Herbal Tea;
PC Rooibos Vanilla Herbal Tea;
Lipton Sri Lankan Gold;
Lipton Spiced Chai;
Tetley Orange Pekoe;
Twinings Prince of Whales Tea;
Twinings Irish Breakfast Tea;
PC Organics Single Estate Green Tea;
PC Organics Earl Grey Green Tea;
Tetley Earl Grey Green Tea;
Uncle Lee's Premium Green Tea;
Four O'Clock Fair Trade White Tea Chai;
and, last and probably least, a gem(?) found at our local asian food store:
Natural Tea Good Hair-Look Herbal Tea.
We'll be bringing you the taste tests as soon as we can, so check back often! Also, if you've a brew you think we should dip our balls in let us know and we will check it out!
Cheers,
The Tea-Bloggers.
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