West Lake Stop Smoking Tea

Good evening folks,

I missed the last Sunday tea review, because I was away on business in France. So, for this mid-week review, I've selected West Lake Stop Smoking Tea. This is because I was subjected to so much second hand smoke in the land of cheese that I'm now having fits from nicotine withdrawal. I hope this helps. If not, I'll just have to surrender and get out my beret and a bottle of wine.

vector: Much like Lipton's Caramel crap, this smells like a buttered ashtray, only not as buttery. Already, I can tell this is going to help me kick my second hand smoking habit. The liquor is a dark amber colour. I just tasted it, and it made me want to wretch. Just like some of the local establishments I visited in France, except without the side order of lung cancer. It also tastes like an ashtray, with a weird lasting sweet aftertaste.

I would trade a 551,695 square kilometre republic for a kilo of this tea.

My balls would have to be having an awfully rough time quitting smoking before they'd ever take a dip in this garbage.


Scalded Balls: I wish I had a picture of my face to post because a picture is worth a thousand words, I guess the best explanation I can give is when I first sampled this vomitous syrupy blend of so called "refreshing beverage" (sic) I was talking to my parents on the telephone, this did not stop me from exclaiming "fuck, this is awful". In review it smells like bad licorice, tastes like bad caramel, looks like dirty toilet water, and sounds like "fuck, this tastes awful".

For a kilo of this tea I will capture for you a 551,695 square kilometre republic in the opening weeks of world war III.

I would sooner have my balls crushed like a Vishy republic under the foot of an insane German than have this te touch my teeth again let alone put my balls in it.