Celestial Seasonings Tension Tamer Herb Tea

Scalded Balls:
1: Times it has been requested that we review Tension Tamer.
2:
3: Number of attempts it took us to review the te.
4:
5:
6: The number of times Captain DoYouKnowY? (Editor's note: I don't know either.)
7:
8: Avocados I would trade for this tea.
9: The number of times my balls bob in each and every cup of Tension Tamer I prepare.

Captain DoYouKnowY?: Although its zesty lemony aroma and cloudy yellow appearance bring to mind Mr. Clean and Neo-Citron upon first impression (some may thus conclude a likeness to well-trodden floors and poor health...) these assumptions are both fictitious and blatantly erroneous. This tea, upon closer examination, is a fine blend of drowsy earthiness and freshly squeezed citrus, green gumdrops and wild honeysuckle.

I would trade Scalded Balls (twice) for a kilo of this tea.

I would gladly dip my balls in this flavourful nightcap any time it is politefully offered.

vector: Light fruit and mint flavours and delicate aroma do indeed make this a soothing brew.

I would trade the nap that I am about to take for a kilo of this tea.

It could be possible that dippage would aid in certain situations. Will report back on the next incidence of blue balls.

Dr. Capitalism: This tea actually isn't that bad, despite its tasting like the Aspartame Fairy had an affair with the Gnome of Mintiness and abandoned the resultant child down by Old Man Licorice's Happy Time Antiquery. The slightly odd aftertaste only lasts for a few seconds, so that's okay.

I'd trade the rest of today's allotment of consciousness for a kilo of this tea.

I would put my balls in there - it's a flavour party!