Celestial Seasonings Tension Tamer Herb Tea

Scalded Balls:
1: Times it has been requested that we review Tension Tamer.
2:
3: Number of attempts it took us to review the te.
4:
5:
6: The number of times Captain DoYouKnowY? (Editor's note: I don't know either.)
7:
8: Avocados I would trade for this tea.
9: The number of times my balls bob in each and every cup of Tension Tamer I prepare.

Captain DoYouKnowY?: Although its zesty lemony aroma and cloudy yellow appearance bring to mind Mr. Clean and Neo-Citron upon first impression (some may thus conclude a likeness to well-trodden floors and poor health...) these assumptions are both fictitious and blatantly erroneous. This tea, upon closer examination, is a fine blend of drowsy earthiness and freshly squeezed citrus, green gumdrops and wild honeysuckle.

I would trade Scalded Balls (twice) for a kilo of this tea.

I would gladly dip my balls in this flavourful nightcap any time it is politefully offered.

vector: Light fruit and mint flavours and delicate aroma do indeed make this a soothing brew.

I would trade the nap that I am about to take for a kilo of this tea.

It could be possible that dippage would aid in certain situations. Will report back on the next incidence of blue balls.

Dr. Capitalism: This tea actually isn't that bad, despite its tasting like the Aspartame Fairy had an affair with the Gnome of Mintiness and abandoned the resultant child down by Old Man Licorice's Happy Time Antiquery. The slightly odd aftertaste only lasts for a few seconds, so that's okay.

I'd trade the rest of today's allotment of consciousness for a kilo of this tea.

I would put my balls in there - it's a flavour party!

Tea Wine

One of our other projects besides the tea collection, is home wine and beer making. Since we found a recipe for making wine with tea, how could we not? It'll be a few months before it can be tasted, but we'll let you know as soon as we can!

Sunflower Jasmine Tea

Given what was paid for this small yellow tin at the little store around the corner from us, we didn't have the highest of hopes for this tea. However, it amazed. Also, please welcome our newest reviewer: Captain DoYouKnowY? On a side note, it should be mentioned that with the weather warming our interests are waxing away from tea toward other somewhat more intoxicating beverages. Te reviewing will not stop but may slow some. = )

vector: This is normally one of my most favourite teas. I can't think of why it has taken us so long to do this review. Scalded Balls totally shanked this pot, though. For this he shall be sentenced to perform demeaning acts of public self-flagellation. When made properly, this tea has a nice delicate jasmine flavour that doesn't over-power the tea, and is amazingly refreshing.

I would trade nuclear arms for this stuff.

I would certainly sink my sack in this tea.

Captain DoYouKnowY?: Although subtle hints of jasmine remained in this fine cup of tea, it was overpowered by the not so subtle hint of over-steeped leaves..... given that I'm told this can be a nice tea, I would be willing to try it again if the preparation was left in more adept?....or perhaps capable? or maybe less pre-occupied? hands. = )

Tonight I would trade the left mate of my least favorite pair of socks. On a better night, I might be willing to trade both.

And as a result, based on tonight's taste, I would not dip my balls in it. Ask me again when I MAKE IT.

Scalded Balls: Normally this is one of my favorite tes however this evening it has been shanked superbly by myself. In spite of this it is still a great Te. It flows around the mouth with a smooth suppleness of a fine breast; though it is much too strong this evening it lacks the sharp bitterness of many black tes.

I would trade a TONNE of the smart-ass comments I hear from the likes of vector and Captain DoYouKnowY?, along with the associated riff-raff that they cavort with on a semi-daily basis for a kilo of this Te.

I would gladly bathe my balls in an unshanked cup of this tea and likely in the cup brewed today, if I hadn't drank it already.